Well, Silje was warm when she got off the bus last Wednesday, but she was so tired and so overstimulated. So she went to lay down. When she woke up on Thursday, she still had a glaze over her eyes. By lunchtime, we decided to take her temperature, since she was still glassy eyed, and warm. Warm indeed! Her temperature was at 101.5. We gave her some Tylonol, and she took another long nap. Before I changed my mind, I called the school to say she wouldn't be in on Friday.
When Silje woke up from her nap, she was herself again, and this morning she is very much herself. I wish I had sent her to school, but then again, I don't want to start the year by breaking the rules. The rule is that you need to be fever free for 24 hours before returning to school. A fever, by their definition, is anything over 100. Her fever was yesterday afternoon, so there you go.
It just makes me sick that she's missing her second day of school, and her next day won't be until Wednesday, because next week has Labor Day. So much for establishing a new schedule! I think I would feel even more guilty for sending her in, especially if other kids got sick because of it. That's the trouble when you're a mom. You're guilty if you do, you're guilty if you don't. Mom guilt seems to be a constant.
I was thinking about lately, and wondered if "mom guilt" has always been a constant. We live in a tricky, tricky time for moms, or parents in general. With information at your fingertips, you would think the job would be easier, but I think I doubt that. Every decision seems to have a professional opinion on it, and in our culture, the professional opinion is the only one that counts.
There are "methods" to everything; A titled method to get your baby to sleep, a method to teach them to read, a method to potty train them, a method to discipline them. There are books on everything, and if you listen in on any mom conversation, you'll hear them asking each other which proven method they are using.
It seems as the old fashioned method of following your "mom gut" is old fashioned, and unscientific. In our culture, the good moms read all the books, and follow the ones in fashion. Although I love reading parenting books, I'm starting to stop, and starting to come up with my own ideas. Imagine, a system of parenting custom made for each of my children!
With my "method" of parenting, though, as with every other system, there is a sense of self-doubt, and wondering if I'm totally messing my kids up. When they were younger, I would pray that they wouldn't remember my mistakes, but they're getting to the age that they will start to remember them.
I love talking with one of Knut's grandma's who said that they didn't read parenting books when they raised their kids. The just brought 'em up. You just did what made sense to you, and what worked for the family. I'm certain they made mistakes, and maybe she had guilt back then, but it has a sense of freedom to it, doesn't it?
On the other hand, I think that writers like Dobson and Tripp, have influenced the family in so many great ways. We know so much more, but does knowing more, mean decisions as a parent are easier?
Some days I think I'm getting through to Silje, and other days, I think she has no interest in what I have to say. She is constantly doubting that I know what I'm talking about, and that annoys me. I suppose that generational problem, has always been a constant, though. You can even see examples of that back to ancient times.
Well, there's my tangent for the day. That's a lot just coming from Silje having a temperature yesterday.